i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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