very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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