Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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