A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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