i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
