thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
