Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
