You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
