I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
worst night to have a conscience
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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