Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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