i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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