I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
