He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
