but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He passed out mid-signature
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
