Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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