You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
