If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
