My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
