Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
