I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
