Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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