Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
