Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
