Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Come share oat with me in your robe
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
