We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
