i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
