He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
