i permit you to call me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
