shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
