There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
