playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
