that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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