I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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