yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
