Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
