there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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