i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
