I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
