would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
