Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
