Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
