"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
