I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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