Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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