so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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