He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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