when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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