sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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