Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
