He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Screwed.edu
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
