i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
